Welcome to the BVI, one of nature’s little secrets…literally. You can’t even see it on the map, as if the islands playing hide and seek. The sun shines on the islands as if “it looking promotion,” and the breeze hits you like Immigration processing a work permit; on its own time. The water surrounding the islands is so blue you’d think it was photoshopped…or at the very least dyed. It’s definitely one of the two, right?

For such a small group of islands, they have so much to offer; white sand beaches (the best of them being Cane Garden Bay or CGB of course), lush landscaping, beautiful real estate (sometimes)… and then there’s Purcell. Come to think of it, has anyone ever seen one of those safari tour buses pass through there? With tourists onboard?? Like, “On your left you’ll see… never mind.”

Let’s talk about the wildlife. The national bird of the BVI is a glorified pigeon, or a turtle dove for those of you who’d like to be specific. But at least it looks pretty, right? Really though, I think the title should go to our local chickens, seeing as how they basically run things. At this point they might “fix we roads before we do.”

Nobody has a better attitude than locals of the BVI… unless you don’t drive 20 mph over the speed limit. Or if “they spirit don’t take you.” Or if the conversation doesn’t go their way. Or if they know your business before you do, down to your last girl and what you did to lose her. Nothing too serious. After they “cuss you out,” they’ll still expect for you to sit and sip liquor that could be classified as a corrosive substance with them. Just a little tough island love to calm the nerves.

And don’t worry, if you ever feel lost, just stand still for ten minutes. Somebody will either peep at you behind cover, ask who people you for or tell you how they related to your great-great grandfather and somehow you owe them something. That’s the BVI for you: the water too pretty to be real, the time moving like it got baggage, rum hit you worse than your parents, and chickens enforcing traffic laws with pure confidence. Welcome, enjoy yourself, and remember, here “soon come” is not a promise, it’s a lifestyle.