Dear Jenny

On the surface, my life looks fine. I go to work, I show up for friends and family, and I keep myself busy. When people ask how I’m doing, I smile and say, “I’m good,” because that’s what’s expected, and most days, it feels easier than explaining.

But when I’m alone or when things slow down, I feel it. There’s a quiet sadness I don’t talk about. Disappointments I never processed. Loneliness I convinced myself I should be over by now. I often feel like something is missing, but I don’t know how to say that out loud without sounding ungrateful or dramatic.

I don’t talk about these feelings because I don’t want to worry anyone, and I don’t want to be seen as weak. Everyone around me seems to be managing just fine, and I feel pressure to do the same. So, I push my feelings aside and keep going, even though pretending is starting to wear me down.

I’m beginning to realize that ignoring how I feel isn’t making it go away, it’s just making me tired.

Why do I feel like I have to hide my true feelings, even when pretending is exhausting me?

Dear Exhausted

You hide your true feelings because, somewhere along the way, you learned that being honest felt risky. Many of us were taught to keep things together, not make waves, and move on quietly, even when something inside us is asking for attention.

Pretending can feel like protection, but it often becomes exhausting. When feelings are ignored, they don’t disappear; they linger beneath the surface, quietly draining our energy and peace. What you’re experiencing isn’t weakness, it’s your inner self asking to be acknowledged.

You don’t need to have all the answers or share everything with everyone. Start with honesty toward yourself. Simply naming how you feel may bring relief and clarity. From there, you can choose one trusted person where you can say, “This is how I really feel.”

Sometimes the greatest fear isn’t what others will think, it’s what we might have to face once we stop pretending. But facing the truth, gently and in your own time, is often the first step toward freedom. Honesty with yourself is never a small thing.

With care,

Jenny